Kazakh Traditions: Getting Married

Love must be in the air in Kazakhstan! We have seen many wedding parties and wedding cars over the last week as there was a holiday (many people had Thursday - Sunday off).

One tradition is that everyone from the wedding decorates their cars and creates a procession that goes all over town - to the memorial for pictures, to the wedding tree, and finally to their reception site. The procession stays together and somehow they have permission to drive crazier than everyone else here (which means they drive like maniacs :) ); they weave in and out of the lane, creating a snake of cars; they also drive very fast. Our translator, Katya, told us that the fast-driving is part of the tradition as well (I guess they are above the law on that special day??).


After taking pictures in front of the nuclear memorial, the wedding party heads over to the Tree of Good Wishes where friends and family tie ribbons for their wishes for the bride and groom. Katya told us that in the summer the tree is completely covered in ribbons.




Next, the wedding party heads out of town to the Wedding Tree. This tree is a tall pine tree overlooking the banks of the Irytsh River; at the top of this tree are empty glass bottles tied together. The tradition is that a friend of the bride and groom ties two empty bottles together and climbs the tree as high as possible; the higher the bottles, the happier the marriage. From here, they race off to their reception for food and dancing (and according to Larissa, another of our wonderful translators, more vodka). The bottles at the top of the tree made beautiful music as we stood on the bank and looked out over the river that divides Semey.


It has been very neat to see these traditions as we make our way around town.

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Asher Update: Still drooling! Five teeth are coming in at once! He is starting to lift his bottom when he crawls...he sort of looks like an inch worm - a very cute inch worm. :) When he sees his daddy, he blows raspberries and grins with pride as spittle drips down his chin. Very precious.

Adoption Update: Olga, our attorney here, will file our petition to adopt Asher next Monday, which will be day 16 of our Bonding Period. We will begin to practice for court this week in order to be prepared for next week. Can you believe it?? Next week!! Derick must give a speech without notes; I guess mamas are just for looks. :)

Snapshots - Our Week in Review Part 2

We had to break up our post as the dial-up connection is slow. :)


October 22: Our first full day of bonding with Asher; we tried very hard to keep him awake, but...clearly we weren't successful. It was so very sweet to hold a sleeping baby in my arms.


October 23: We had the privilege to watch the older children in the Baby House perform their holiday program. They were such hams and loved dancing and singing. Our hearts just ached for every one of them to know the love of a family.


October 23: Still teething! :) Asher loves to cuddle, and he loves to put anything into his mouth.


October 24: This Russian Orthodox Church is one of many, many great sights that we have seen so far. (more pics of other sights to come)


October 24: Asher and Noah, another little guy who has recently met his mom, learn to share. They seem to know one other as they both lay on the floor and smile at each other.


October 25: Big Day!! Asher sat completely unassisted for a long period of time!! We were so excited by this accomplishment, and he seemed pretty proud of himself too.



October 25: Who are those two good-looking guys in the mirror? :) Asher loves to check himself out (I think that he thinks it is another baby, but I guess we'll never know what he is thinking...)


October 26: Practicing Sharing Again...notice the hand that is grasping the shirt of Hayden, a precious 10 month old little girl from Asher's same group. Also notice Asher's duds - do you like purple and flowers as well as a pink hat on a little boy?


October 26: Derick and I went to the Dostoevsky museum and are standing at his desk in this picture. The home in which he served four years of exile is preserved and just a block or so from our apartment.


October 27: Asher loves to blow raspberries, especially with his daddy cheering him on. :) It is very precious to see him mimic us...not so precious when he does it while eating, but still cute. :)

It is hard to believe that on Sunday we will have been here for a week; so much has happened and changed in our lives in such a short time! As evidenced by the pictures, we have had a wonderful week!

Snapshots - Our Week in Review Part 1

Packing began early in the week and continued through Thursday night.


October 19: Chicago Flight to Frankfurt 3 pm - 6 am


October 20: After a long layover in Frankfurt, we met another American couple, John and Jenny, on their way to Kazkahstan to adopt their daughter. It was so neat to share our experiences and to have someone to go through immigration with. This couple headed on to Kostonai, and we left for Semey once we arrived in Almaty on Saturday night at 11:45.


October 20 (almost 21): Welcome to Almaty, Kazakhstan! We were greeted by the friendly faces of Marina and Sam, translator and driver, upon going through immigration.


October 21: This was our tv in the hotel in Almaty - that's right Gator fans...we watched the Gator game with Russian announcers thousands of miles away from home! While we are fans, we are not that die hard - it just felt like the middle of the day for us!


October 21: The reason we came!! Asher during our first meeting. He was sick and teething, but happy that day. :)


October 22: First feeding! Asher ate a tomato based stew that afternoon. We think that the caregiver in this picture is one of his favorites; he always gives her a smile.

Happy - Please Read Whole Post :)

I know this post is long-awaited by many of you. Some got impatient and played detective and emailed us with your name guesses. :) Some checked out Deuteronomy 33 and worked through the meanings, and some of you were just clever and googled Beth Moore's talk to see what her topic was (we were very impressed with your resourcefulness).

Without any further ado, we are so delighted to announce our son, Asher Blaine Wyss.



"This is the blessing that Moses, the man of God, pronounced on the Israelites before his death...About Asher he said: Most blessed of sons is Asher; let him find favor among others, and let him bathe his feet in oil. The bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days. There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are his everlasting arms..." - Deuteronomy 33:1, 24-27a

This tiny passage from the Old Testament - that had come to have great significance to us (we chose the name in June!) - was the topic of an entire day's teaching. Please remember my prayer the Wednesday night before the conference...(see Flabbergasted and So in Awe). Two days later, I (and 15,000 other women) received a verse by verse and word by word explanation on the significance of Asher. Astounding - isn't it?

I'll admit right now: this is going to be a long post (but please don't stop reading!). I want so much to convey what I learned that day so that a) you won't think that we have picked a wild and crazy name for our son, b) Asher will know why we have chosen this name for him, and c) most importantly, so that God who created the heavens and the earth will be glorified.

According to the teaching that day, there are two main words in the OT that mean "blessed" - Barak and Asher. Barak, used more commonly, is more positional; we ARE blessed. Asher is emotional; we FEEL the emotion of being blessed. The definition of Asher is: to be level, right, happy; figuratively, to go forward, be honest, prosper, relieve, lead; to be called blessed and happy...essentially, Asher means happy about the blessing we have in the LORD.

Moore talked about how so often worldly "happiness" becomes man's pursuit and how unsuccessful that search inevitably is; she mentioned this because it seems we either make happiness our god or we shun it as some empty pursuit. She challenged us to see "happiness" as God intended it and offered this thought provoking statement: "Happiness is the psychological awakening to the work of God."

At this point in the talk, my heart was racing and my mind spinning, but this statement gave me pause. It struck me as so very true in our lives. Often, people see adoption as a second rate choice, a plan B...loved ones, please hear me when I say, it took us awhile to catch on to the work that God was doing in our lives, but never, ever did we feel we had to settle. Instead, we feel delighted and honored down to our very marrow that God chose us for Asher and him for us. It was only when we "awakened" to God's work in our lives in regards to our pursuit of having children that we truly felt happy.

No more striving and waiting only to be disappointed, no more relying on our own strength and our ability (inability) to control our lives. Instead, we operated in a hope that does not disappoint or hurt; we began to really trust God to provide for our every need. This journey has been filled with baby steps on our behalf and great compassion and lovingkindness on God's. With each step, we awakened to understand precious qualities in our relationship with God...and we felt very happy. :)

The Deuteronomy passage was the key text for that Friday's talk, but Moore actually traced Asher from his birth in Genesis all the way to the tribe of Asher's presence in heaven in Revelation. In Gen 29, we are told that Zilpah, Leah's maidservant, gives birth to a son; she hands him to Leah who exclaims, "I will call him happy for I am happy." We felt just like Leah on Sunday, when Olga handed us our son. We wanted to shout from the rooftops, "We will call him happy for we are happy!" Moore pointed out here that there is no circumstance that God cannot work through; no matter our beginnings, new testament believers are most favored and blessed in God's eyes. We find this truth evidenced in our journey to parenthood, and we pray that our Asher will also come to know and believe this truth. The original Asher was born out of adultery, and yet God calls him "most blessed of sons."

I am convinced that I need to close for today, but there is more that we want to share with you. (Remember, Beth Moore talked the whole day...there's no way we can convey all that we learned and how it parallels our journey in just a few paragraphs!)

Here's one more picture. Don't you think "Happy and Blessing" fit him? :)

Our Day

We have so much to tell you, but for now, we'd like to share a little bit about our days. Each day so far has taken on a routine.

9:45
Our driver, either Victor or Paschel, picks us up at our apartment
10:00
We arrive at the Baby House and go to our son's room where we wait at the threshold for one of the caregivers to bring him to us
10:03
Our hearts melt as he enters the room and smiles at us, then we head down a winding hallway to the Bonding Room (a very nice room with a rug, two chairs, stuffed animals, and toys).
10:05 - 11:30
We lay on the large rug and play with our son. We tickle, talk nonsense, and teach him new things like sitting unassisted, crawling more than two "reaches," and standing up. There is this clear blowup cylinder toy that he loves to crawl after so we inch it away from him, and he thinks it is a great game. We all laugh, and the baby drools too (we have been working on our own drooling problem). When he tires of our antics, he likes to lay on our chests and kick his legs like he is swimming. Before we know it, our time is up, and we head back to his room where he will eat and take a snooze to get energized for our time together later in the day.
11:30 - 1:15
With the other families here, we go to local restaurants for lunch. Our translators, Larissa and Katya, explain the menu and help us order. The time to visit other families (2 who have already gone to court and are awaiting their children's passports and 2 who began bonding at the same time as we did) is really nice. We have really enjoyed meeting these families.
1:15-1:50
We run to the market or sight see or do both (as we did yesterday when we stopped to purchase diapers and water and stopped to visit the Russian Orthodox Church).
2:00 - 4:00
Depending on the caregiver, we get to feed our son (yesterday we did not) and make a mess of his precious little face. If we do not feed him, we head straight to the bonding room where we repeat our 10-11:30 playtime routine. He is happy in the morning and the afternoon, but in the afternoon he has just woken up so it takes him a little while to resume the usual laughter. Around 3:30 his arm gets stuck under his little body and it is a very big deal (it happens earlier in the day, but he problem solves very well then). He begins to fuss and rub his eyes so we scoop him up and hold him close...which is exactly what he wants because he begins to close his eyes right away. We try not to let him fall asleep totally as we have been told that is taboo, but...We have to jostle him a little as we pack up our stuff at 4:00. It is hard to hand him over to his caregivers, but we know that he is in wonderful hands, and we know that there will be plenty of days with no "handing over."
4:00 - ?
We run to the market if we did not do it earlier and if there is a need; then we see more of Semey, our baby's birthplace. We have already seen many neat sights and learned a great deal about Semey's history (which we'll write about another day).
Usually we are home by 6, and I have to resist the urge to crash. We usually fix some tea and have a snack as we talk about the day. We watch an episode of Scrubs, then I sit down to journal and Derick gets online to do some work (which I am supposed to do in the mornings...which is right now...but I get distracted thinking about all that we want to share with you...). After awhile, we watch one more show (really we are not TV junkies; it is just a nice way to unwind and laugh), then we are off to bed. So far our bed times have ranged from 7 to 12:30...I am not sure that we are over the jet lag. :)

Thanks for following along with us for the day. Each day has been wonderful so far. Victor is going to be here in 20 minutes, and I need to start layering (it snowed last night!) so I better sign off for now.

We love getting your comments and knowing that we are not alone in this journey. Thanks for sharing our joy. Love to you.

I Love to Eat, Drink, and Hold Hands

First Family Picture

Highlights

It took us a little longer to do our first post from Semey because we did not internet right away...and all of blogger's buttons and tabs are now in Kazakh, which we incidentally cannot read.

We have tons of pictures to upload, but we tried last night and waited for an hour for them to load without any success. We will try to work out the kinks over the next few days, but we wanted to let you know that we are here and all is wonderful!

Highlights so far:
- We survived our 18.5 hours of flying (I know I wrote 25 before...I was already sleep-deprived and math-challenged when I wrote that)

- We stayed in a hotel in Almaty Saturday night...and we watched the Gator game with Russian announcers. Can you believe it?? Apparently the "Gator Nation" is everywhere.

- We survived our flight from Almaty to Semey (I was nervous about this, but it was fine really...the folding chairs and load-it-yourself luggage as well as the free-for-all seating sort of unnerved me, but we made it just fine)

- We arrived in Semey around 2:30, headed to our apartment, dropped off our bags, and arrived at the Baby House at 3:10 (who needs to shower or change clothes when they are going to meet their son!)

- The Director interviewed us through our translator Larissa. He asked us why we chose Kazakhstan, why we did not have biological children, why we wanted to adopt, what we did for our jobs, and what our hobbies were. We are trusting our answers were ok (it is hard to remember what we said after being so sleep-deprived) because he then asked about what sort of baby we wanted to see. Caregivers, Larissa, and Olga, our attorney and facilitator brought in three different babies. We held all of them and talked with them. Strangely, we thought this part would be so hard, but we just had such peace about the baby that was intended for us. We told the director which baby we wanted to spend more time with, and then we got to spend about 30 minutes with him in the bonding room.

- He is an incredibly happy baby; he laughed a lot at us, and he drooled too (he has four teeth coming in!). His eyes lit up yesterday when I entered the room after being gone, and he did the same for Derick today when he came into the room.

- He fell asleep in my arms yesterday...very sweet time.

- He army crawls and likes to cuddle. Everything that we give him goes straight to his mouth - including our fingers and toes (we didn't give him those, but he found them!)

- We had the chance to feed him his afternoon meal Monday and Tuesday. Both days his meal was a sort of soup with ground meat in it. After his meal, he has tea. Yes - that's right - tea! from a tea cup! :) We made an incredible mess yesterday; we did a little better today. It helps that he LOVES to eat. :)

- We have met four other American families that are also adopting. It has been special to share this journey with them.

We have pages and pages of journaling so obviously there is much more going on, but we'll sign off for today with those highlights. We are so grateful for your prayers; everything (and we mean everything) has gone so smoothly, and we are sure that it is because of your prayers on our behalf.

Love to you.

On Our Way

Friends and Family,
This is going to half to be even shorter than the post that I just wrote and lost! (May the internet difficulties begin!) :)

We are checking in from Chicago, and all is well. Some of you have wondered if we fell of the face of the earth these last couple of weeks as we announced our wonderful news...and then we stopped posting. Well, we didn't slip into oblivion; we just got wrapped up in shopping, packing, shopping, packing some more, etc. :) These last two weeks have been crazy, and the last three days have been intense. We are operating on 10 hours of sleep over the last few days...which is probably less than ideal for international travel. Pure adrenaline will probably get us through the next couple of days.

We wanted to thank those of you who have written and called over the last few days; you have been such an encouragement to us. Thank you.

We can hardly believe that we are on our way to meet our son; it is something so longed for and so highly anticipated...and now it is here!! Woohoo!!

Please keep us in your prayers as there are many details and unknowns. Here are some specific things that we would appreciate prayer for:
- our son's continued safety and health
- our meeting of our most precious little guy
- safe travels (we still have three flights left...we have completed 2 of 25 hours of flying time)
- ease of entry into Kazakhstan
- flexiblity
- clear-mindedness

We have to run already. The next time we post, we will be half way around the world. :)

Much love to you.

p.s. We know we still owe you a long overdue name announcement...maybe tomorrow? :)

How It All Began: On Adopting and Being Adopted

*Note: I wrote this entry several months ago when my thoughts were much more cogent than they are today. I felt the need to share this before we share the baby's name with you (which I promise will be soon...if you haven't figured it out yet, "tomorrow" on this blog really means sometime in the future). :)

Last November, driving home late one night, I tuned into the Focus on the Family radio show. My thirty-minute drive passed in a flash as I sat intrigued by a young woman’s story; she had been adopted from Cambodia as an eight year old. She described her life in the orphanage and shared her longing for a family. I was so enthralled by her experience that I actually sat in the driveway to listen to the remainder of the program. After I turned off the truck, I stepped out into the night and uttered a prayer of thanks for this woman, her family, and the message of what God had done in her life.

The next night I found myself in the car late again. This time the show host and Steven Curtis Chapman were talking about their experiences as adoptive parents. Chapman shared how it was really his fifteen year old daughter who was the catalyst for their family considering adoption. I was amused by her efforts and thought “what a great story.”

Then I heard four words that would change our life and deepen our faith. Rainey said, “It really boils down to this: Adoption is the Gospel.” At first, the statement caught me off guard, and I was tempted to dismiss it. But the more I thought about it, the truth of the statement was undeniable.

When I arrived home, I shared with Derick what I had heard over the last two nights. We sat at the kitchen table, sharing the same bewildered look. The message resonated with us, and yet, we were frightened by the implications. We committed to pray about God’s plan for our family for the next couple of days.

Apparently I do some serious thinking while driving (or I just spend a great deal of time in the car) because I really wrestled with Rainey’s statement for the next several days. I distinctly recall driving on the interstate and telling God (yes, that’s right I audaciously was telling the God of the universe) that there must be some mistake; He could not possibly believe that we were able to pursue a family via adoption. After all, didn’t He know the risks involved? Countless unknowns, illness, failure, heartache, rejection…Didn't He know how weary we were of waiting and longing? I thought I had a pretty convincing argument; after presenting my case, I sat quietly and waited for God to say that I was right (I know - I am so laughable). Instead, in the most quiet place of my heart, I heard a passionate and decisive whisper, “I adopted you.”

It still makes my heart skip a beat and my eyes fill. I almost had to stop the truck so that I could soak in that truth and its implications for my life. I revel in this time that I had with the LORD because I realized that even though He knew I would make poor choices, have illnesses, fail to trust him, and in really dark moments, reject his love, He still chose me and loves me with an everlasting love. He adopted me in Christ, making me his child and giving me a most perfect and loving Abba. Absolutely astonishing and wonderful.

I had to keep my revolutionary epiphany to myself for a few days because I wanted to know that God was showing Derick the same truths. On Friday of that week, we returned to the kitchen table – minus the bewildered look. Instead, our eyes danced with joy…we were going to be parents of a most wonderful child of God. What an honor and delight.

“How” and “what if” never entered our conversation because we believe that God’s grace will be sufficient and that He has a plan and a purpose for all of his children.

Many months later, I read in Galatians 4:4-7, “When the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”

In hindsight, we see that unfounded fear almost kept us from fully experiencing the blessing and beauty of adoption – our own and our child’s.

Three Little Letters = BIG NEWS!

Praise God! It is official - we are going to Kazakhstan!! We received the highly anticipated LOIs this afternoon. When our coordinator, AJ, called, I remained calm because we were going to be touching base today anyway, but then she said, "You are going to Kazakhstan!!" Guess what I said?? "Really??" Sometimes words escape me (although I know you wouldn't guess it from the blog)...I cried when I opened the LOIs and saw our names with all of the other Cyrillic characters. What a sweet moment!

I know in our last entry we promised an "unveiling" of sorts, and we will deliver. It will just be later this weekend because we need to do things like...apply for our visas and book plane tickets! We're going to meet our son! Woohoo!!

Love you all and THANK YOU for your prayers!

Flabbergasted and So in Awe

As most of you know, "mum" has been the word on the baby's name. Well, that all changed last Friday - and it wasn't totally due to my lack of self-control. Right. :)

While in Colorado, the girls in the family attended the Women of Faith Conference; the conference was great, but the preconference was just amazing. Beth Moore, one of my favorite Bible teachers, began the day by saying that she had been praying that we would just be flabbergasted by what God had to say that day. I have to confess that the tired anxious part of my heart thought, "Sure, Beth. I'm sure that today is going to be great, and I'll be reminded of an awesome truth about God - but flabbergasted?? hmm..." Based on the title of today's entry, you can already guess that I was, in a word, flabbergasted.

She asked us to turn to Deuteronomy 33; in that moment my heart began to palpitate, and swallowing became difficult. I thought, "Lord, what if...?" You see, Deuteronomy 33 has been a place in scripture that Derick and I have been camping for the last several months. It is the passage in which Moses blesses the tribes of Israel. I was certain that she was going to talk about Joseph or Benjamin or one of the more "known" brothers - surely she would not be teaching on our chosen name. I felt certain of this because I had NEVER heard any teaching on this specific passage of scripture.

I gasped and my hand fluttered to my heart then my mouth when she said, "We are going to look at the blessing of..." Oh my! I could hardly breathe (sorry for the drama, but really it was quite an overwhelming experience). I began to laugh quietly to myself, then the tears came. Once I got a grip on myself, I smiled and felt like my Abba winked at me and said, "how's that for flabbergasted?"

My dear friend and sister-in-law saw my gasping and fluttering (and general spazzing out), and my heart was just too full to keep it a secret any longer. How could I keep such a delightful blessing hidden? There were 15,000 women in that arena that day, and I felt like the teaching was just for me. You see, on Wednesday night (the night of the baby's birthday), I returned to that passage for solace and encouragement. As I reread the familiar lines, I journaled, "Lord I would really like to learn what these verses really mean, not what I think they mean or what I want them to mean..."

Dear ones, countless prayers have been answered in my life, but none so blatant. I asked, and two days later I was the flabbergasted recipient of the teachings that I had requested. I told a good friend that I felt like lying down on the ground and weeping tears of joy.

Another stone raised to remind us today, tomorrow, and twenty years from now that, indeed, "Thus far, the LORD has been with us."

Check back soon for the official unveiling of Baby Wyss' name...